Where I belong
by sacha-lee
Summary: What if in New Moon Bella decided against throwing herself of the cliff last minute What if she went home regretting the reason why she was going to do it; to die. What if she came across an unexpected visitor... ExB Fluff! How New Moon should of ended!
1. Chapter 1

**I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT :)**

_**A/N All right, here's the gist of this story. (WELL THE BIT LEADING UP TO IT ANYWAY.)**_

_**Right, so you know when Bella's about to jump of the cliff just to feel alive and hear Edward's voice? Instead of wanting to hear him, she basically wants to give up on life. KILL HER SELF, HOWEVER YOU WANT TO PHRASE IT.**_

_**I promise it will be bloody good. **_

_**AND MEGA FLUFFY! ;)**_

**Bella's Point Of View**

I ran forwards, watching the horizon off the water. "BELLA!" The only voice I wanted to hear growled, I grinned to myself. "DONT. ARE YOU MAD?! WHAT DID YOU PROMISE ME?" He growled in my head. Maybe I was mental. Who was I to care right now? It was what I wanted.

"What did you promise _me_?" I whispered to him, smirking, my voice smug. I probably would have had looked mental to anyone else, especially Leah Clearwater. She had been following me around all day since Jake and the pack was busy chasing after Victoria. Or maybe she had already figured out I was mental from the start, and just wanted to taunt me about it. Personally, I didn't blame her if she was taking the piss out of me for it. I stopped running at the edge of the cliff, letting the front of my feet hang off the edge of the cliff, letting the ends of my feet feel free. All I had to to was slightly lean forward and I would end up dead. No more suffering in silence with no one to understand me any more. No more being a waste of living space and oxygen.

I stood on the cliff's edge, feeling the wind in my hair, slightly pushing me back, as if the wind didn't want me jumping into the sea today.... hearing Edward's voice, warning me not to jump. But I couldn't jump, not just yet anyway, I was busy concentrating on hearing his voice for the last time in my life, before I put an end to it, and finally jumped off of this damned cliff, so the sea could swallow me whole. So my pain could be put to rest for once.

"How pathetic." Leah Clearwater laughed from behind me. "It's not like anyone's going to miss you, you know, is it?" She laughed again from behind me, her laughter patronizing. At least I hadn't turned into a bitch when the person I had loved left me. Turned me away.

I thought about that for a second, what she had said to me. Charlie and Renee would be in hysterics.. and maybe now Jacob. If I ended my life, I'd be causing more pain than what was worth. Even though I had wanted to end my own pain, I couldn't inflict it on the rest of them like that. The people I love. But it was still a tempting to decide 'yes' to throw yourself of a cliff to finally be painless and maybe even slightly happy about life once I had been removed from the face of the Earth.

It was decided. I wasn't going to jump off the cliff, no, not today anyway. They needed me there, here, even if I was depressed with my life, even though they knew I was experiencing this pain. Constantly being reminded of what I had chosen, only for it all to be thrown back into my face. But they didn't know I couldn't cope, everyone thought I was getting over them. Recently anyway. I'd just have to find another way to get rid of the pain... for now.

I turned back around and walked back across the cliff thoughtfully to the safe side. "Chickened out have we?" Leah smirked. "Knew you would."

"Fuck off, Leah." I growled, clenching my fist in a ball. "Just because Sam left _you_" I sneered in her face. She looked abashed, then sulked off angrily back down First Beach, cussing under her breathe.

I ran back to my truck and sat inside, not sure what to do. If the werewolves where with Victoria, I should be fine going home, all I felt like doing was sit on the couch curled up in a ball and cry, and this time I would, I needed some sort of release. I couldn't keep my tears in any longer.

As I pulled up in front of Charlie's house, I stopped the truck, and ran my hand over where the radio they had got me used to be. It was now lying on my bedroom floor in a black bin bag. I remember the mess my nails had been in when I'd eventually clawed it out. I got out of my truck, holding myself around my torso, the hole in my chest ripping itself open. Why had I allowed myself to continue thinking about them this way? It was only adding to my depression. I continued stumbling up the stairs and opening the door, and slamming it shut, when the tears took over me. I sunk down against the front door to the floor in a ball leaning against the front door, and just cried.

When I managed to finally get up I stumbled my way into the kitchen and poured myself a glass of water, and grabbed myself a Tylenol throwing it down my throat. I had no reason to take it. I don't even know why I took it. I walked over to the kitchen table, sitting myself down at it, the stained dark wooden table which had probably been there long before I was conceived. So I sat there, with my head in my hands.

"I'd be a complete failure if I was suicidal." I mumbled to myself, and at the same time thought, but what where you trying to do Bella? Kill yourself? Throwing yourself of a cliff, now it wasn't for fun either, was it? There was no denying it, and I was just going to throw myself of that cliff and wait for the waves to take me under. Who honestly cares if I'm in pain, when I'd end up leaving Renee and Charlie to wonder what would make me do such a thing, even when they all had left months ago. Not a trace of them left behind. Just disturbing memories that would of once comforted me. Did Charlie and Renee still know how much it hurt me to even think their names? And I had my best friend too; Jacob Black. I couldn't leave him, he had helped me attempt to get over their departure, even if he only made living a fraction better for me than it was without him too, I'd always be holding him back as well. Maybe I should of thrown my self of that damned cliff after all. Given everyone a rest.

I bashed my head onto the kitchen table just to feel something, how pathetic. I then proceeded to cover my arms over my head. I didn't want to be disturbed any time soon, no doubt I'd end up having a go at Charlie when he got home and walked through the door, just for the sake of it, to get something of my chest, because I never did get anything of my chest. I just kept my problems bottled up, because no one would ever understand me the way _he_ did. No one would even understand the way he made me feel. Not ever.

The doorbell rung, followed by a loud knock on the door. I sighed very quietly but made no other sound or decision to move. Whoever it was would leave when they thought no one was home. Go live their own happy life. I could hear the rain outside pick up heavily, I could see it pelting against the kitchen window, becoming much louder than it was before. Things never changed much in the boring old town of Forks. People come, people go. People spread rumours, people believed that rubbish, just because the news in a small town never did get interesting, and nothing was mostly ever worth knowing. The doorbell rang again, twice this time, followed by another two raps at the door.

Who in their right mind stands at someone's door whilst it's pouring down with rain, and it looks there's going to be some massive storm on the way, knocking, even when no ones answered it. Maybe it was someone coming over to meet Charlie or it was someone important, but I just couldn't be bothered to open the door, I couldn't be bothered to act happy for some retard who wanted to stand in the rain and get soaked, waiting for someone to answer a fucking door no one wanted to answer.

Couldn't whoever it was just leave? They'd end up catching a cold. What where they? Mental? I laughed to myself in my head.

Here I was, probably turning mental myself, when I had decided to consider someone else mental. For standing in the rain and ringing on a door bell waiting for someone to get off their lazy backside and answer the door to them.

The knock on the front door came again, faster than the other times, maybe a bit quieter. Like I cared. Like I even should.

Didn't whoever it was understand. I didn't want to end up having a breakdown in front of anyone because I was upset and just wanted to sulk. Go save yourself from having a pathetic broken hearted teenager break down in tears in front of you.

I picked up the now empty glass and threw it across the kitchen, the glass shattering, smashing against the kitchen units, reminding me of that day, which resulted in all this. All this fucked up shit, of all my unhappiness.  
I dropped my head to the table once again, throwing my arms over my head as sobs began to make their way out of my throat, I could feel my eyes water over and all of them begin to finally pour down my face. I hadn't cried this badly since the week he left me, for Charlie's sake. Him and his family, my friends, my future. Everyone that I thought cared about me. The people who I had been told that they had too considered me as family and their friends too. But I was nothing more than a mere distraction to the only person I loved, and still do love, and probably ever will. Even if I did move on, he would still be there in my heart, a reminder of who I truly loved, and nothing could get rid of that painful memory, even if he insisted it would pass in time. Time only made things worse.

Our visitor knocked on the door again, this time yet again another two quick loud raps at the door. They seemed almost impatient. I would of told them the door was already unlocked and to let themselves in, but I doubted it was someone we knew or could trust like the wolves.

I got up sighing, wiping away my tears and leaving the mess of the glass behind in the kitchen, closing the door behind me so they couldn't see it from the front door. Whoever it was, I hoped they didn't expect to be coming in. Especially with all the mess in the kitchen from the broken shards of glass. They'd think something was seriously wrong with me. It hardly looked like I'd simply dropped it either. It was bait I'd thrown it across the room.

I huffed and put my hand on the door knob, pulling open the door with an expression clear on my face which would show whoever it was I didn't want them there. That I didn't want to be disturbed. That all I wanted to do was curl up into a ball and cry.

**RATE AND REVIEW FOR MORE GUYS!**

_A/N How do you guys like the story so far?_

_I am thinking about postponing his arrival, not too sure yet._

_But anyway, the quicker I get reviews, the sooner I know people actually want to read the rubbish I write, and I'll get it up within the next week for you guys._


	2. Chapter 2

**I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT :)**

**Bella's Point Of View**

I swung open the door angrily to see him there. That was it, this was one step too far. Maybe I needed to get myself into an asylum quickly before I embarrass myself more than I already have. He stood their with his eyes closed, and slowly opened them, showing me the darkest colour I'd probably ever seen his eyes before, and he had massive dark purple rings under his eyes, like he had been punched in the face really hard, but I obviously knew better. He locked eyes with me, his eyes swelling with too much emotion for me to be able to read them.

"Bella." He whispered while I stood at the door frozen, not sure whether or not to believe this was real. He fell down onto his knees, kneeling, and put his hands up into a pleading position, his eyes begging and pleading. "Bella." He repeated my name again, but this time louder. "I'm so sorry for leaving you, I love you, Bella, I need you."

"Edward." I whispered, getting down on my knee's in front of him, and wrapping my arms around his neck and hugging myself closer to him. I could feel him snake his arms around my waist, crushing my closer to him, but not too hard, not that I minded anyway.

"Forgive me, please. Take me back." He whispered in my ear.

"I already have." I replied, as I felt him nuzzle his face into my hair, as I did the same to him. There was a sobbing sound coming, and I wondered where it was coming from.

"Bella, don't cry." Edward replied, letting go of me, wiping away the tears with his cool finger.

"I'm sorry." I replied, rubbing at my eyes to dry them. "I'm just so happy to see you." My voice cracked, and I found myself crying again as Edward pulled me into his lap so I was sitting on him, whilst he whispered sweet little nothings into my ear.

"I love you Bella, I always have, and I always will. I promise I'm never going to leave you again, until you order me away." He promised me, his lips brushing against my ear.

"I love you too." I whispered, I let go of him and pulled away a bit, probably smiling like a dork, the dork I am. I noticed both our clothes where drenched in freezing rain water. "Look at us." I laughed, as I felt a warm tear trail down my cheek. "Let's go inside, I think the neighbours think we're mental." I laughed, noticing our audience watching us, probably trying to listen to what we where saying. But there was no chance since Edward and I where both talking to each other quietly.

Edward looked confused, then turned his head around to see our audience, then chuckled. "I think they are a little miffed that there wasn't screaming and shouting between the two of us." He smiled at me. "Though I don't understand why I would _ever_ be angry with you." I smiled, blushing looking down at my lap. He put a finger under my chin, making me look up into his eyes. "I truly love you Isabella Marie Swan." He whispered solemn voice. I leaned forwards, both of our foreheads touching each others, both gazing into each others eyes. He smirked. "I think we should go inside, your going to catch a cold." I rolled my eyes, but obliged, getting up, whilst he slipped his hand into mine, intertwining our fingers as much as possible. Edward got up right after me, and closed the door slowly, then spun around to look at me, shivering. "Your cold." He stated. "I'll go get you something dry to put on." He said, taking his hand out of mine.

"No." I shouted. "Don't go." Afraid he would leave me again.

Edward smiled, and gripped my hand a bit tighter, giving it a small reassuring squeeze, before I wrapped my arms around him as tight as I could, hiding my face in his shoulder. I could feel Edward wrap an arm around me lifting me up, then shortly after feel myself being held tightly to him. I looked out from his shoulder to see we where now sitting on the sofa in Charlie's front room.

I felt him bury his face into my hair, and heard him take a big breathe in, presumably smelling my hair. Then he began to shake underneath me.

"Edward, what's wrong?" I asked, pulling away a tiny bit so I could see his face, which was crumpled up, looking as if he were about to cry.

"Nothing." He said, placing his hands on both sides of my face. "I'm so sorry Bella. I don't know what I was thinking, I... I.." He broke down into sobs, letting go of the sides of my face and hiding his face in the crook of my neck.

"Shhh." I murmured as I nuzzled my face into his hair, bringing a hand up to place on the back of his neck.

"I'm just so sorry." He sobbed into my neck. "You don't know how much I've missed you."

"I missed you too." I whispered, pulling back just as he did as we both stared in silence, remembering what each other looked like.

Edward traced my jaw with the tip of his finger, making me feel all mushy inside, making the smile on my face grow bigger.

"Bella." He whispered dropping his hand from my face and picking up both my hands in his, holding them the very little space between us. He looked down at them then back at my face. "Marry me." I could feel my jaw drop open at his proposal. "I don't want to spend the rest of my life worrying about hurting you, not giving you what you want, b... but.. but, if this is the life you've want, and you choose it. I'll change you myself." He whispered, looking me straight in the eye. I could see the truth in his eyes as he spoke each and every word. I could hear the truth in his voice as he said them out loud.

"You'll... ch.. change me?" I whispered, not believing this was happening.

"Yes." He said slowly as if to help me take it all in. He pulled me up by the hand, then got down on one knee, producing a red box from his pocket. "Isabella Marie Swan, will you do me the honour, of making me the happiest man on Earth. Will you marry me?" His voice melting, sounding even more beautiful than it usually did. Music to my ears. I smiled hugely.

Renee would kill me. Charlie would kill me. But I didn't care, I wanted my forever with Edward. "Yes." I whispered, I could feel the tears of happiness roll down my cheeks once again. Edward slipped the ring onto my finger. A beautiful oval shape with diamonds on it. "It's beautiful." I whispered. "But.."

He cut me off standing up quickly and putting a finger to my lips. "I know what you're going to say." He chuckled, smiling widely at me, looking me in the eyes, still holding my hand that held the expensive looking ring on it. "It was my mothers. I want you to have it. I wouldn't have any other person have it, it was her wedding ring too." He kissed it whilst gazing into my eyes, then dropped my hand.

I put my arms around his neck as he put his hands on either side of my face.

"I love you Isabella Marie Swan _Cullen_." He whispered against my lips, as our mouths drew closer towards each other.

Edward pressed his lips to mine, making me crumble into a thousand pieces beneath his lips as my lips joined in with his. In our most sweetest kiss yet. My lips moved against his cold ones. The cold never had been as inviting as it was to kiss Edward and get wrapped up in the moment. As our lips parted for me to get air, he placed one more kiss on my lips; this time a small chaste one.

"Thank you." He whispered in my ear as he held me as close as he dared to, without crushing me too much, not that I minded, not that I would. "Bella." He paused. "My fiancée." He breathed into my ear, I could tell he was smiling by just the way he was talking.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

The front door slammed shut and Charlie walked in, staring at the floor. All of a sudden he looked up to see Edward and I standing in the middle of his living room, holding onto each other. "What the actual hell?" He shouted, his face turning bright red.

**REVIEW! :)**

_A/N Not sure if adding another chapter to this story is the right way to go. I'm not sure, but I'll think about it. :D_

_anyway, new story up!_

_& I'm updating the rest of my stories at the moment, haven't written something for fan fiction in a long time._


	3. Chapter 3

Confesssion-

just over 2 years ago was when I uploaded 'my' first story, it was about the Cullens returning to forks after breaking dawn

since then i've deleted that story

why?

Because the story was crap, the plot was awful and my writing was just complete bull shit

only when 'I' had started writing other stories did people take interest in my work

truth is, they weren't my stories to publish

they never were meant to be published on a website like this

I had been emailing a friend, who didnt like twilight but liked the characters and setting, minus the vampires and werewolves

she began writing stories with different plots in emails, just to entertain me, and I abused whatever trust she had in me by posting them on here

a lot of stuff was going on in my life and I craved the attention

I will no longer be posting or updating anything on this site

im really sorry to every one this has effected

you can message me on here or email me if you'd like

sachay (at) hotmail (dot) co (dot) uk


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